Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Did you ever have a fever dream?  By definition it’s said to be a particularity intense and confusing dream brought on by a fever.  I’ve had them before; they’re frightening.  You can almost understand the narrative of the dream you’re having but you can’t grasp anything that happens.  Worst of all, not only do you know you’re dreaming, but you feel at the mercy of your subconscious.  It’s a waking nightmare that you have no control of ending.

So…I saw Batman v Superman last night.

No, it’s not a waking nightmare of a film.  But it plays out in such a confusing and convoluted way that I could never grasp what I was even trying to comprehend.  I knew what the movie was about.  I got the gist.  But the people in charge of making the film seemed to feel it necessary to put me in a constant state of “huh?”  Plot points and scenes begin, “develop,” and then the film throws you into the next plot point like a drunk being thrown to the pavement outside his watering-hole.  Only to take said drunk, and fling him into the next dive to be thrown out of when the night is just starting to make sense again.

If that makes any sense you really need to quit drinking.

Anyway, Zack Snyder’s Batman v Superman: Dawn of check out the rest of our movies over the next few years is a sequel to 2013’s Man of Steel.  I didn’t like Man of Steel very much.  The first half is a sluggish set-up for a bombardment of noise and destruction that belongs in Michael Bay’s work.  But, it has some nice ideas that could’ve been built on if it’s sequel made some inspired choices.  I’m sad to report, that other than Affleck’s Batman, Dawn of Justice makes brand new mistakes.

The plot takes place roughly two years after Man of Steel; the world is divided on Superman (Henry Cavill).  Is he the savior and superhero that mankind should be grateful for?  Or is he an element of destruction that can level an entire city when he gets into a skirmish.  A 9/11 inspired monument in the middle of Metropolis is simultaneously dedicated to the lives lost in the battle between Zod and Superman, and Superman himself.  But, while he continues to save as many lives as he can, two men are trying to take him down. Lex Luthor (Jessie Eisenberg) attempts a number of confusing approaches to frame Superman for no reasons other than he’s Lex Luthor.  One incident at a senate hearing seems brilliant in it’s trap, but the film quickly negates Superman’s involvement.  I have no idea why.

Get used to hearing “I have no idea why.”

The other adversary for the son of krypton is Bruce Wayne.  Let me stop for a moment to commend Ben Affleck for being the film’s bat-signal ray of light in an otherwise dark and cloudy evening.  His Bruce Wayne is weary and beaten by life.  He’ can’t get over the death of his parents, the loss of colleagues, and the ever existing corruption of his city.  He feels like a failure.  And when he sees what disasters Superman can bring to the earth, he sees purpose. He sees one more chance to leave a legacy worth remembering.  It’s to Affleck’s credit that he makes DC’s most compelling character remain it’s best.

He also kills a lot of people.

Now, I was not one of those outraged at Zack Snyder for letting his man of steel murder Zod.  Just because Superman kills someone, doesn’t make him a killer. He was presented with an impossible choice and he decided.  Batman in Dawn of Justice almost kills thugs at will.  Now this could be an extension of Wayne’s beaten down persona, where he just doesn’t care anymore because he’s filled with that much hatred   Instead, the film ignores it; dawn of justice indeed.  At least when Superman killed Zod, he was affected by it.  It was an alien making a human choice.

That’s about as human as Snyder lets Superman get though.  Otherwise he could not be more devoid of the charisma and charm that should make up his character.  Does he have to be a wise cracking goof? Of course not, but I would’ve liked to enjoy him.  A shame too as Cavill has the right look and would make for a fantastic Kal-El if he was allowed.  And it might of made me care more when he squared off against the Dark Knight.

Oh yeah, the fight.  So as I said, I thought Affleck was wonderful, but his Batman is also in a story that wants to make him a petulant adolescent who refuses to have a conversation with the man he wants destroyed, because I have no idea why.  At least Superman is given a morally difficult choice for wanting to kill Batman without reasoning with him ( I won’t spoil what it is).  Still, the two gladiators finally battle when they should talk.  You know…talking right.  The thing you do when you’re not a mute.  They should’ve done that.

But they fight in the least visually interesting spot Wayne could find in all of Gotham.  A shame considering Snyder and Larry Fong, his cinematographer, know how to create pretty pictures.  But why make one of the most anticipated moments in film history look and feel like it means something right?  The characters should be landing verbal blows that make the physical ones hurt even more.  Instead they just slowly punch and kick each-other until one man is standing over the other, victorious.  Worse is how the fighting turns to allegiance in a moment that’s supposed to feel poignant in it’s simplicity.  Instead, it feels more like what happens when an alcoholic makes a sober decision.  I know need to stop with the drinking analogies, but what can I say?  This film makes me want to hit the bottle as hard Bruce hits Clark.

Speaking of poor decisions, Lois Lane makes plenty of them in this film.  Amy Adams was one of the bright spots of Man of Steel, bringing her intelligence and integrity to a character who normally can’t tell that Clark Kent is Superman.  Well, she must of been struck on the head at some point between the two movies as she is now a character making idiotic choices so the plot can move forward poorly.  She opens the film working on some story in Africa that turns into a deadly shoot-out, because I have no idea why.  Superman saves her, causing a bunch of dead villagers that we never see die because the film needs to blame him for something against humanity.  This sends Lois off on her own subplot that goes no where and ends up unnecessary.   Finally, she makes one of the worst decisions with a weapon late in the movie, that ultimately renders her useless and shockingly moronic.

Much has been made of Jessie Eisenberg’s Lex Luthor, and while his performance is as undoubtedly a mess as the rest of the film, I admired it.  Lex goes from being quirky to neurotic to menacing to psychotic and back again.  Eisenberg does all of this very well, he just does it in the wrong movie.  It’s too bad because there’s a master villain here that’s believably one step ahead of the heroes, but he’s wasted by the flailing motivations the script gives him.  He doesn’t like the teachings of religion in which God is better than man, so he hates Superman.  Or is it that his father beat him?  Or does he just want power?  Who knows?  But it’s a fascinating performance that goes down swinging in it’s wide misfire.

Less fascinating and more lazy is how the Justice League is set up.

*Minor Spoilers*

Wonder Woman, The Flash, Aquaman, and Cyborg are all in the film for no reason other than DC needs to set up it’s cinematic universe.  And the way they’re shoehorned in is stunning in it’s banality.   Wonder Woman (Gal Godot) has a larger role in the film than the rest because she is DC’s most important character after the big two.  So the script tries to give her a reason to be there in the form of a picture.  The picture, in the possession of Luthor, is from 1918 and would reveal her supernatural ways as she appears the same age. There’s nothing she can do but try and steal it, because an excuse like “Hey that’s not me, that’s my grandmother who looked just like me.” won’t suffice.  Godot fills her with little personality other than smirking and having great legs in the Wonder Woman outfit.  I’ll admit to smiling when she starts fighting along side Superman and Batman against Doomsday (a CGI disgrace), because it actually felt fun for a moment.

However, she got the Hannibal Lectar of introductions compared to the other three.  They’re introduced through three video files that Bruce E-mails to Diana (Wonder Woman) when he steals the info from Luthor.

E-Mail files…E-MAIL FILES!!!!!

Oh, the Flash shows up earlier in Bruce’s dream within his dream to say something uninteresting and had me pondering why he has the same mustache I did when I was fourteen.

*End Spoilers*

I don’t want to compare Marvel’s cinematic universe to this because it’s not exactly fair.  But the thing Marvel understands is how to structure their superhero outings in a way akin to a serialized television show.  Each episode revolves around a main character that feels contained while pointing toward it’s season finale, i.e. Avengers film.  While I haven’t liked every single story, I never lost faith in the whole.  I have no faith in the Justice League this film promises.

Is all lost?  Not quite.  Suicide Squad could be fun.  A stand alone Wonder Woman film may work.  And Affleck getting to direct his own Batman film may result in something special.  But outside of that…ugh.

You know the thing about waking from a fever dream?  You realize you’re sick as hell.

Grade: C-