Zoolander 2

I might as well get this out there…I really didn’t want to see this.

I only saw the first Zoolander film once.  It was in theaters fifteen years ago.  The only joke that I thought was memorable was the “model for ants” gag that was in the trailer.  Otherwise, I really didn’t care for the film; it actually put me off Ben Stiller until he made Tropic Thunder in 2008.  That film surprised me; it made me laugh out loud and admire it’s guts for taking chances that could’ve crippled it, and destroyed Stiller’s career. I wasn’t thinking about Tropic Thunder before seeing Zoolander 2, or even during it, but since the film ended I haven’t been able to get Tropic Thunder out of my head.   The reason being is that Stiller’s latest effort fails in every way that Thunder succeeded.

I’m going to compare the two often in this review because I feel it’s the best way to get my point across on why Zoolander 2 is terrible.  First, and all encompassing, it’s lazy.  Lazy in every way it’s possible to make a film like this lazy.  The first one made a profit, and I’m sure the studio gave this one a similar budget while expecting it to do better business with it’s eyes closed.  But I’m not blaming the studio here.  This is all Stiller’s fault.  He knows that an unfunny joke doesn’t become funnier if you keep reiterating it.  Just because his Derek Zoolander is a moron, doesn’t mean he’s hilarious.  Pouting his lips, and talking in the Zoolander voice isn’t funny if what he says falls flat.

The entire concept of the fashion world is absurd to begin with.  I’m not saying that you can’t make a satirical film about models, but it’s a tougher place to start than a war film.  That may seen odd because there is nothing funny about war, but there is something funny about war movies, and the people behind them.  It allows the ridiculous to combine with the serious, and form something that can be attacked in different layers.  Models are not the brightest people; they can walk down a runway wearing a birdcage and be applauded.  Stiller rinses and repeats those two jokes throughout the film.  His characters are idiots, and they look funny.  But it’s less funny than if it was real life.  In Tropic Thunder, Stiller’s character makes a film called “Simple Jack,” which is about a mentally challenged farm-boy, but the film doesn’t make fun of individuals with down syndrome.  It makes fun of actors giving over the top performances, which makes it funnier than it is in reality.

The look of the film is passable, but not interesting.  Dream sequences, prophecies, and a hotel made out of shit, have nothing about them that draws the eye.  This wouldn’t be as much of an issue for me if it didn’t remind me of how well shot Tropic Thunder was.  On that film, Stiller knew that the beauty of past war movies had to be replicated in order to make the world more believable, and the satire more effective. He brought in Oscar-winning cinematographer John Toll to shoot it, making his comedy a gorgeous one.  He has another talented cinematographer on this film, but he has no interest making it look like anything worth remembering.

I’ve already touched on the performance of Stiller, but Owen Wilson is no better or different from any other of his one-note performances.  Penelope Cruz at least made an attempt to walk the line of believable, making her more comedic moments stand out.  Will Ferrel plays Will Ferrel playing an over the top bad guy that wasn’t even funny once.  My favorite performance in the film goes to Cyrus Arnold as Derek’s son.  At least he made me care about his character.  And I should care.  This weekend’s other release, Deadpool, wasn’t funny because it’s violence was bloody and it’s language brutal.  It was funny because it contained funny characters that were well performed by the actors.

The same goes for cameos, and Zoolander 2 has too many to count.  Some of them got a laugh out of me, but others were just thrown in there and expected to be amusing.  No, it’s not funny if Neil deGrasse Tyson has two lines and one of them is “I’m Neil deGrasse Tyson bitch”  Where as the cameos in Tropic Thunder were funny because of there performances, such as Tobey Maguire and Tom Cruise (not really a cameo, but same principal).

Yet this is what Zoolander 2 had in store for me.  Jokes that were lazy and failed to make me laugh for almost two hours.  Should’ve watched something that would’ve kicked me in the testicles every time I shed a tear.  Would’ve been funnier.

Grade: D-