The Boy

The worst time of the year for film releases are January, February, and the last half of August.  This is where studios usually place films that they know will not be able to compete with more popular and superior releases.  It’s also where studios dump their garbage, or films stuck in development hell.  There are always exceptions to the rule as with anything, but overall, it never fails .  When I walked into 13 Hours, I got what I expected, a so-so semi big film that would be dead in the water any other time of the year.  When I was getting ready to go see The Boy, I was even less excited, because horror films in January are more likely to be lousy.  I’m telling you this because it would be unfair to not divulge my mindset as I sat down in the theater yesterday.  It’s also not fair to the filmmakers to think that way.  After all, it’s not their fault when a film is released.

So…as I was waiting in my seat, I asked myself, “What’s wrong with a spooky haunted house story, where the center of the horror is a creepy doll?”  I’ve never had a fear of dolls, but I don’t deny their “creep factor”, and I sure wouldn’t want to be stuck in the middle of an old creepy house, in the middle of no-where, with one.  And so I was determined to change my attitude and give the film the fair shot it deserved.

The classy looking opening credits, and beautiful/creepy piano on the soundtrack, began to get me excited for what the film had in store.  After all, the film’s lead, Lauren Cohen, is very good as Maggie on The Walking Dead, and should be up to the challenge of her first major lead role.  Then, unfortunately, the movie continued.

Cohen plays Greta Evans, an American, who’s taking a job as a long term nanny in England because she has to get away from her abusive boyfriend back home.  The house is owned by Mr. and Mrs. Heelshire, who are both in their seventies, and they have a son named Brahms, a boy of seven.  The only problem is that Brahms is not real.  He’s a doll made of glass.  His parents attend to him; change his clothes; sit him at the dinner table; play music for him, and kiss him goodnight.  Greta is obviously amused and disturbed by this, but in the film’s first misstep, the Heelshire’s come across hilariously deranged, instead of sad and creepy.

Once Greta is left alone with Brahms, the film begins an array of spooky noises, disturbing dream sequences, and sight gags, where the doll moves around the house and takes Greta’s clothes (the last bit caused me to began rooting for the doll which may sounds wrong, but the film wasn’t above showing Lauren Cohen in her underwear, and in a night gown on a cold night, so I have no guilt).  I didn’t mind that she did the normal stupid horror movie things, like go in the attic and say “Who’s there?” But the movie had already lost me by that point, as I felt the doll was no threat.  And to be honest, it never becomes one.

The biggest problem is the turns the film attempt to take.  Early on we meet Malcolm (Rupert Evans), who brings groceries to the estate, and flirts badly with Greta.  He tells her the stories of how Brahms died in a house fire and she tells him of her abusive boyfriend. and all of this is only done so the movie can back itself out of a corner late in the proceedings.  Then the real truth about Brahms comes out in a way I admit to not expecting, because it’s just lazy.  Not to mention what could’ve been a disturbing haunted house story, turns into a slasher film of no interest.

I thought Rupert Evans as Malcolm was decent, and Lauren Cohen on the big screen is a feast for the eyes, but that’s isn’t enough to save a script that should’ve died in a house-fire before it was turned into a horror movie…released in January.

Grade: D